Here on the perimeter there are ordinary things, conditions we call them in seminar: soft anxieties, financial noise, someone says “the end of history.” Things happen methodically and things collapse. Persistence is called intention. Like an aerial view of crops, we’re carving a circle inside a cell. We call it a rigorous program of self care. Everyone gets more limber and longer lifed. The body is mixed use: healthier and more sexual and also the way that makes me feel. Cells charged by nootropics and diffused dread. Purpose here is tricky but effort happens like weather. It’s super charged. Engagement is up, enjoyment too. The cage rattles and the fog burns and we catch the view from here, a pan like valley of scrubby trees, buildings along the mouth of a river, fulfillment centers glinting like silver fillings. Effort flows – to learn and build, effort to index, and I definitely but one of a monitored mass and still protected by the sheer quantity of misdeed. I but one of 143,000,000 in the Equifax hack, but one in a borough of 14,000. Someone walks in and tells me “we’re different than we were and we’re the same.” Something else: the gut-brain connection is real, the organs talk. And something else: time is nonlinear, my landlord and I agree, still Rob insists on my paying rent.

~ 2017